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Values and Values Disconnect

One of the most overlooked elements of job satisfaction is the correlation of our personal values to the  interaction of our job.   But values shift throughout our lives based on moments in time, who is most important in our lives in those moments, our interests, and a host of other ideals.  Those values can be critical for feeling a level of satisfaction or disconnect.   Who we work for, work with, and the work culture feed our values or deprive us and can initiate feelings of disconnect.

Several years back my family dynamic changed.  Loved my job, but suddenly I was missing key moments in my daughter’s life and my job satisfaction plummeted.  I made a decision that I had to find a new position because I wasn’t going to continue down that path.  She was more important.  I made an appointment with my boss, shared my dilemma of enjoying my job but not being willing to sacrifice those once in a lifetime moments.  I believed I needed to resign.  In a turn of events, my boss shared how much I was valued and that I didn’t need to make a decision to leave.   My boss helped me to understand a different perspective of leadership for both of us.   It enabled me to manage my own values more effectively and pay attention to the leadership or organizational values going forward.

Assessing values require that we evaluate what we really want, what is most important to us and to look at all of the angles before we jump ships, take on new roles, or give up.  Too often emotions drive us to react, but we take action blindly without assessing what is at the core.  What is at the core of your values?  Undecided what direction you are going?  Contact me.

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What Will They Remember

I’m usually writing about careers, education, workforce, but on my run yesterday I was reflecting on several conversations with clients and parents as well as family members. Coronavirus has pushed everyone’s buttons. And in a time when so many are out of work or in limbo, a common stress I heard were conversations surrounding the feelings of falling short as the educator in the family in lieu of regular school for their kids. Tears had been shed over maintaining “school hours”, who had or hadn’t logged on or violated someone’s assigned time, and the worst…assignments that were confusing or misunderstood leading to frustration and incomplete lessons.  Has it happened at your house?

The word “CAN’T” permeated lessons, balancing work and family at home and for some the end of the rope loomed way to close. My past life as a principal came rushing back. What would I have done? It hit me….treat it like travel. Yes, being on time, having lessons complete, checking all the boxes for the grade book is important.  But, when a family would ask if they could be excused for an unusual family travel experience, my answer was always emphatically “YES”!  Nothing educates like travel. Learning new geography, currency, customs. They are all genuine life learning experiences that make connections in our brains unlike learning in a book or even catching it on an electronic device.

COVID 19 has put us all in unusual family/work experiences, and we can choose to make our memories of this around the word “CAN’T” or we can frame it around the words “WE DID”. So how bad would it be if a tearful lesson in math got put away until later and a cooking experience commenced. Or how about a distance challenge calculating steps through the house if one was to suddenly become blind…. the possibilities are endless. The point is to use the imagination, take the pressure off of each other. I’m not advocating throwing in the towel on curriculum, but I absolutely advocate that in a time when everyone is navigating this virus as best they can, we need to feel empowered to make decisions that move everyone forward. Learning goes well beyond the walls of a classroom. It goes beyond the walls of our perceived imagination.

So, what will you DO to ensure that when your children look back and talk about their memories during the quarantine of COVID 19, they remember what “WE DID” and not what they “couldn’t”.

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A Big WOW!

This week is a Special Guest Post – Bud Bilanich has been recognized on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and countless other news programs and publications.  He has devoted his talents and passion to being a top life and career success coach with companies like Chase, Johnson&Johnson, Merck, PepsiCo and countless others benefiting from his work.  His message is valuable for high school students as well as those in college and already in the workforce.  I hope you will enjoy his work as much as I do:

 

I love Marla Brady’s College and Career blog.  She packs a ton of common sense advice into each post.  That’s why I was flattered when she asked if I would contribute a guest post.  I help young professionals – those who are just out of college get on the right track to life and career success.

Receiving your degree is a great accomplishment.  I remember how proud I was way back in 1972 when I became the first person in my family to graduate from college.  But as I began my career, I learned that there is a lot about life and career success that they don’t teach you in college.

I made a lot of mistakes as I went about creating my career success.  I’m hoping that I can help young people just beginning their careers to get the benefit of the knowledge I gained through experience with having to deal with the frustration and pain that sometimes come with gaining experience firsthand.  So I’ve written down some of the things I’ve learned about what it takes to succeed in your life and career. This is advice I wish I had when I graduated from Penn State in 1972.  I hope you find it helpful.

I’ve found that all successful people have five things in common.

  • Successful people are self-confident.
  • Successful people create positive personal impact.
  • Successful people are outstanding performers.
  • Successful people are dynamic communicators.
  • Successful people are interpersonally competent.

Self-confident people have at least three things in common:

  1. Self-confident people are optimistic.
  2. Self-confident people face their fears and take action.
  3. Self-confident people surround themselves with positive people.

People who create positive personal impact have at least three things in common:

  1. People who create positive personal impact develop and constantly promote their personal brand.
  2. People who create positive personal impact are impeccable in their presentation of self.
  3. People who create positive personal impact know and practice the basic rules of etiquette.

Outstanding performers have at least three things in common:

  1. Outstanding performers are technically competent.   They remain technically competent because they are lifelong learners.
  2. Outstanding performers set and achieve goals.
  3. Outstanding performers are organized.  They manage their time, stress and lifestyle well.

Dynamic communicators have at least three things in common:

  1. Dynamic communicators are excellent conversationalists.
  2. Dynamic communicators write in a clear, concise easily readable manner.
  3. Dynamic communicators are excellent presenters – to groups of two or 100.

Interpersonally competent people have at least three things in common:

  1. Interpersonally competent people are self aware.   They understand themselves and their impact on others.  They use their self awareness to increase their understanding of others.
  2. Interpersonally competent people build solid, long lasting mutually beneficial relationships with the people in their lives.
  3. Interpersonally competent people are able to resolve conflicts with a minimal amount of problems and upset to relationships.

When my niece graduated from Florida State several years ago, I wrote a little book called An Uncle’s Advice to His Niece on Her College Graduation.  Inside, you’ll find my thoughts on each of the success characteristics above and my best advice on how you can use them to build the life and career success you want and deserve.

You can download a free copy at http://www.budbilanich.com/uncles-advice/.  When you download the book, you’ll also get a bonus.  You’ll begin receiving daily life and career success quotes that have helped me on my life and career journey.

There’s a reason they call college graduation ceremonies “commencements.”  As you leave college you are commencing on a new and exciting phase of your life.  You are commencing on a career.  I hope that you find the career advice in An Uncle’s Advice…to be helpful.  You have my very best wishes for a lifetime of success.

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Finding Your Balance – A Good Fit

It doesn’t matter whether you are a high school student, a college student, or an adult … finding a “good fit” for college or work is a bit like finding your balance.  Robert Fulghum wrote about it in his book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  He said, “Live a balanced life – learn some, think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”  Wise and wonderful words!

As a high school student, it is important to be engaged in not just the grades of specific classes, but the activities and experience of high school.  In doing so, you build your value to colleges and universities through your experiences of participation, leadership and service.  All of which include opportunities to work, or play or dance or perform or demonstrate who you are as an individual.  It helps you to find your balance and understand where you fit in.  Likewise, as you search for colleges and universities you begin to develop an understanding of those things that are important to you in finding the “good fit” experience of higher education.

College students looking for that first job coming out of school, you begin to understand the kind of environment that you would find satisfying or the kind of people you want to spend the bulk of your day with as you go about creating a career.  Life begins to take on a new balance that is based on an evolving set of values, interests and abilities.  Do you know what yours are?

The culture of an institution like high schools, colleges and universities as well as the culture of a work environment all provide opportunities for you to find your balance.  But it does take some effort, it doesn’t happen by accident and you must pay attention.  Just like Mr. Fulghum said in his book, “Live a balanced life – learn some, think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”

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Career Decisions – 3 Family Dynamic Issues

Making career decisions is never easy and especially when it involves and affects other people.  High school students are influenced by parents, extended family, friends, teachers and coaches, and media.  College students continue to be influenced by similar factors and by the growing need to become financially independent.  So what family dynamics influence decision making and how much should they weigh in on the final decision for a career path?

Issue #1 – Time Frame- Every individual manages decision making about a career choice with a different level of intensity and time frame for making their decision.  Within a family, there are no exceptions.  The dynamics can create great tension when the expectations of time frame for making a decision differ among the family members.  Parents get anxious when students appear to fail to get engaged in the process.  Students get frustrated and avoid parent confrontations when pressed too hard.  The gap can grow and communications get stressed.  To reduce the potential of a family melt down, understand the time frame needs of each person involved in the decision.

Issue #2 – Values – Recognizing and respecting the values of each person in the process can lead toward a smoother transition to a decision about a career path.  For some, career decisions and ideas about future success are made on the basis of monetary reward while others place greater value on helping others or protecting the environment.  Legacies within families may influence decisions to pursue medicine, law, education or entrepreneurship.  Each family approaches the process differently, but the stress is common and the need to communicate openly remains the same.

Issue #3 – Finances – Paying for college, a trade school or starting a business all require tremendous investments of time and money.  Expectations within families regarding who pays and how much can create a whole separate set of issues and communication breakdowns.  As a part of the on-going family discussions, talk openly about affordability, scholarships, work study programs and student loans.  Understand the expectations of each person involved in making the decisions.  While finances should not be one of the first decision making hurdles crossed when thinking about a career path and school applications, it should be part of the conversation along the way.  The cost of college tuition, trade school tuition, or starting a business impacts an entire family.

Ultimately, the career path chosen by an individual has to come down to their values, interests, abilities, skills and passions in life.  But the impact on others is far reaching within families and the dynamics in making that decision can create situations that feed effective decision making or paralyze the process.  According to Napoleon Bonaparte, “Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.”

Where are you in your decision-making process?  What made the difference for you?  If you need help with the process or determining career direction, contact me.